We got back yesterday from our annual trip to Bethany Beach in Delaware. Can’t wait until next summer so we can go back.

I have been so neglectful of my “monthly updates” for William. I hope that one day he forgives me and reflects on how well-adjusted and healthy he is as a result of his mother’s slacker blogging during his youth.

So I am going to count this as a mini-monthly update for our sweet William.

What he can do:
- Sleep through the night. Most of the time. Except last night of course, but really, most other nights - sleeping much better than his 12 month old self.
- Run. He does this awesomely adorable waddly-running thing where his legs splay out ever so slightly and he giggle because he just knows someone MUST be right behind him.
- Eat with a spoon. Most of the food actually makes it into his mouth. And what doesn’t he allows me to scoop up and put back in his bowl to try again.
- Kiss. He loves to give kisses and hugs. Especially to Emma. He loves that Emma.
- Yell. He has, ahem, found his voice. And it is really loud. Sometimes his yelling is really cute, like when he sees Mike at the end of the day and shouts with joy. And sometimes it is just loud, like when I don’t get the yogurt fast enough.
- Sign. He soaks up sign language super fast these days. He knows and uses the signs for more, please, thank you, bear, plane and shoes.

We aren’t sure how he ended up so blonde (hello to the Beach side of the family!!) or so sweet, but we just can’t get enough of him these days. Those blossoming temper tantrums we could do without.

William helped us make brownies today for the first time. Well he helped us lick the bowl anyway. He’s getting to be quite the little person.

As we prepared for the trip, I was most anxious about whether the four of us could successfully live in one hotel room for a week. What I have learned is that I am happy to live in almost any size space with my family as long as we have a pool to swim in whenever we want, someone to clean up after us daily, and meals that I don’t have to plan for, cook or clean up after.

No one got on anyone else’s nerves any more than usual on this trip and we all pretty much kept our cool - even when someone, who shall remain nameless, at least until he learns to talk and can defend himself - started projectile vomiting in a local restaurant. Nice huh?

Some of the highlights:

• Waking up in the middle of the night to start our trip - and hearing Emma’s excitement from the backseat: “I love trips so much! That’s why I was jumping around last night, because I’m so excited! Now we’re on the highway. This is called the beltway. Look at that big truck, and there’s lots of small cars and silver minivans. I think this is the street we go on for the airport, but that’s not a car trip, that’s for a plane….”
• Watching the kids marvel over the planes, trains, boats and buses we could see out of our 12th story hotel room.
• The Swan Boats, Make Way for Duckling Statues, Public Garden, Frog Pond and Boston Common. Over and over and over.
• Spending time (albeit way too short) with, as Emma says, “KateJimJackandMolly”.
• The Children’s Museum. So. Cool.
• The Flour Bakery and Cafe - great vegetarian options. Went there for dinner one night. Sadly it was too crowded when we back for lunch a couple days later.
• Molly!! Our server at M.J. O’Connor’s, the hotel restaurant, where we dined twice. She was awesome. If you ever go there, ask for her and tell her Will and Emma say hi!
• Spending lots of time with Grammy and Grampy. When you spend most of your time solo with two kids, it is an amazing gift to have other adults around on a regular basis. Not only to help carry the literal load of the diaper bag or to push the stroller, but just to have someone to talk to who doesn’t try to negotiate or whine at you. Thanks G and G.
• Spending July 4th weekend at Grammy and Grampy’s house in Bolton, Massachusetts, the town and house Mike grew up in. Emma decorated her bike and rode in a July 4th parade in Bolton, then spent the rest of the weekend tearing up and down the street on her bike and playing soccer in the yard with Grampy. She also got to make a July 4th cake with Grammy for the big party where we got to see all of Mike’s extended family (Hi A & A and O’Brien’s!!) and our new, 3-month old and stupendously cute nephew/cousin C. When we left (in the middle of the night of course) to go home on Tuesday morning, she cried and said “But I don’t want to leave Grammy and Grampy’s house…”
• James Taylor and Carole King at Tanglewood in Lenox, MA. I have seen James Taylor in concert many many many times. With the possible exception of the first time I saw him in high school, this was the best JT concert I have ever been to. Extra special thanks to Mike’s parents for letting us have a night off.

There were tons of other memorable moments, but I am getting sleepy and you are probably getting oh-so-slightly-tired of hearing about every little detail of our trip. Suffice to say, we had a great time and are no longer afraid of long road trips or small hotel rooms.

Or vomiting in restaurants. Ick.

We went to the Boston Children’s Museum today and had a great time, except it meant William missed his morning nap. So he got in a few extra zzz’s at lunch.

Our family is in Boston this week for the 2010 AFSCME Convention. Well, Mike is in Boston for it, we are just along for the ride, enjoying the adventure of a new city, seeing old friends and hanging out with Grammy and Grampy.

Traveling is always a mix of fun and stress, especially when kids are involved. So far we have had far more fun than stress. This picture was taken in our first few minutes in our hotel room that has an amazing view of Boston Harbor. It is incredibly similar to the photo I took of Emma in our hotel room at the 2008 AFSCME Convention in San Francisco.

We have already seen the Swan Boats and the Make Way for Duckling statues, hung out in Boston Common and had lunch at Faneuil Hall. We are here till Friday, with big plans to storm the museums - Children’s, Science, and the Aquarium - with a boat ride and trip to the Harbor Islands somewhere in there. Oh and a little train named Thomas happens to be visiting the Boston suburbs this week too, so we will also be making a trip out there to visit with him.

We are going to be wrecked when we finally get home. Wrecked but happy and with lots of stories to tell.

I was never one of those people who vowed I would never own a minivan. In high school my family had a white Dodge Grand Caravan with wood paneling, and I loved it - the size, the myriad of places to stash things, the fact that I could sit in the third row far from my siblings. I always kind of assumed that I would own a minivan someday. When we bought the Mazda 5, classified as a “microvan” by some, it was a tiny step in that direction, what with the sliding doors and third row of seats. The Mazda was different enough though that I felt special in it - it had sliding doors sure, but it also had Zoom-Zoom and a sunroof. People stopped us to ask us about it and we loved to tell them. I was a rock star in my cute little red Mazda and no one could tell me any different.

When the Mazda got totaled, however, we had to replace it with something and it seemed to make sense to replace with something that was newer, more reliable, had more space and ended up being substantially cheaper for us each month, so we decided on a silver 2009 Toyota Sienna.

For a week after we bought it, I will not lie to you, we thought we had made a terrible terrible mistake. I will go so far as to say I was downright depressed about our purchase. I was no longer a rock star, I didn’t have any zoom-zoom, and no one stopped me to ask about my cute little car. Emma started saying “I just saw another silver mini-van! Mommy, why are there so many silver mini-vans?” and I wanted to cry.

When you are a stay-at-home mom who lives in the suburbs and cares for small children all day, it turns out your car plays a pretty vital part in shaping the identity you create for yourself. I hadn’t realized this when we had the Mazda, but once we had the same car everyone else has, it became clear that the car had become my identity. And I didn’t really like who I had become. In the Mazda I was cute, different, agile and downright sexy. In the Toyota I was big and cumbersome, not to mention boring, practically invisible, and definitely NOT sexy.

I am feeling better about the purchase now. The Sienna is comfortable, it gets us from point A to point B safely and it seats eight with room left over for the stroller, the bikes, stadium chairs, a kitchenette and a porta-potty (ok, a kitchenette doesn’t really fit, but if we put the back seats down it almost might.) It isn’t sexy but in the end I know we made the right choice for all the reasons we decided on it in the first place. Someday, all too soon, I won’t need all this space and then I will buy something tiny and zippy that decries my age. But as I drive it off the lot I will probably be jealous of all the young families in their generic mini-vans driving on the road with me.

Today is my grandmother’s 90th birthday. It’s kind of ironic that her 90th birthday falls on Memorial Day this year, since she spent her life as an Army wife. This is a letter I wrote in celebration of her birthday, as part of a family book of memories that was put together for the occasion. She is an amazing woman.

Mommy-Dee, you have been my grandmother for almost 40 years and a great-grandmother to my children for almost four. So much of who you are and what you have done for me has helped me be the mother I am and the grandmother I hope to become.

Here are some of the things I have learned from you -

• Save empty pot pie tins, grandchildren love to play with them at the beach.
• For the optimal happiness of their grandchildren, grandparents really should own a boat. This boat should be named after the aforementioned grandchildren, and should be used regularly for cocktail hour where cheese and crackers and ginger ale are served.
• Scrambled eggs are best when made with Crazy Jane’s Mixed Up Salt and when served on Fiesta Ware.
• The best grandmothers have chalk boards hanging in their kitchens so that they can play tic tac toe with their grandchildren. Of course they will also need a really cool folding step stool so their grandchildren can REACH the chalk board.
• Cuckoo clocks provide hours of entertainment for grandchildren who are obsessed with watching the cuckoo pop out to say hello.
• Silver tinsel icicles make Christmas trees seem magical to grandchildren.
• Oreos are best when stored in the freezer.
• Hummingbird feeders provide a similar level of entertainment for grandchildren as cuckoo clocks. Being able to sit six feet away while a hummingbird eats the red nectar from a feeder is just about the coolest thing a child will experience. Ever.
• Good grandparents are always prepared for their children and grandchildren to need a place to stay. Having pink satin blankets on the beds makes female grandchildren feel like princesses.
• Taking grandchildren out for some special one-on-one time to celebrate their birthday is always a great way to show your love. Movies like “Watership Down” are always a big hit and may also influence a grandchild’s future taste in books and movies.
• Bringing your grandchildren to watch fireworks over Washington DC from the rooftop of the Museum of American History is one of the best experiences they will have (right up there with the hummingbirds.)
• Grandchildren love to hear their friends and co-workers tell them how beautiful and full of class their grandmother is. Especially when it is so true.
• Always be available to be interviewed for class projects by your grandchildren. Be sure to tell them what it was like to live though the Great Depression. It will amaze them.
• When your adult granddaughter is on bed rest during pregnancy, bring her meals every couple of weeks. It will nourish her in ways you can’t imagine.
• Make it a point to be there for your grandchildren in whatever way they might need.
• Give. Give, give, give to your grandchildren. They will love you for it.
• Always treat your grandchildren with the love and respect they deserve, they will never forget it.

On your 90th birthday I would like to take the opportunity to thank you from the bottom of my heart, Mommy-Dee, for all that you have done and continue to do for your entire family - your children, your grandchildren and your great-grandchildren.

I love you very very much.

xoxo
jen

What a week THAT was.

Last Tuesday we put Moose, our sweet Jack Russell Terrier, to sleep. He was diagnosed with cancer a while ago and had long outlived the 2-4 months predicted by the doctors. We knew he wouldn’t last forever though, and last week he went downhill very quickly and we had to make the heartbreaking decision to end his pain.

We told Emma on Tuesday morning that he would probably die soon, thinking it would be a few days and wanting to give her some time to sit with it. By lunch it became clear that it would have to be that day, so I explained to Emma that we would be taking Moose to the doctor to see if she could make him feel better, but that she might not be able to and he might die. I encouraged her to give him lots of gentle hugs and kisses and to say goodbye to him. I found her later, sitting on the floor next to Moose with a hand on his head, singing softly to him.

Mike and I took the kids to a friend’s house and took Moose to the vet. Just on general principal he hated going to the vet, and fought the sedative the entire time, like any self-respecting Jack Russell would, but we were right there with him till the end, kissing and hugging him through our tears.

We struggled through the next couple of days, trying to give Emma the information she asked for in ways she could understand (which, you know, ugh. How do you explain something you barely understand yourself? Death is so weird - one minute you are here, the next you are gone. Blech. When I was searching online for ways to talk to Emma about the whole thing, I came across a discussion where someone wrote “Just be sure to tell your child the truth. That the dog went to doggie heaven and…” Sorry, WHAT? Doggie HEAVEN is the truth?? I mean, I don’t really know what the truth IS - except that his body stopped working - but I am pretty darn sure what the truth ISN’T. If romping in the clouds and eating bonbons is what you really think happens after your heart stops, rock on with your bad self. Last I checked though, heaven sure as heck wasn’t a scientifically proven theory thereby making it THE TRUTH about what happens after we die. We haven’t entirely ruled out a discussion about heaven as one option about what might happen after something or someone dies, but we sure won’t be presenting it as THE TRUTH. Hmph. But I digress. /rant)

Then, in the middle of processing the loss of Moose and where and why he had gone, we got into a car accident. It was on Thursday, on our way home from the grocery store, but before going to Emma’s school. It wasn’t a little rear-end-the-person-in-front-of-you-while-waiting-at-the-light type of accident, nor was it a multiple-ambulance-and-fire-engine type of accident (thankfully) but it was really really scary and it did do a lot of damage to our car. We were all fine, but the woman who hit us - as she was turning left across our lanes of traffic, apparently not SEEING us in the middle of the road (perhaps she was pondering the truthiness of heaven?) - hit us on the driver’s side. I, as you probably guessed, was sitting on the driver’s side of the car, and so was Emma. I don’t know if she was more freaked out by the large green (blue?) vehicle hurtling toward her or the incoherent screams coming from her mother, but whatever the reason, she was not happy.

We relied on lots of kindness from lots of non-strangers and were able to not only get our groceries home and put away before the ice cream melted, but were able to get Emma to school (the power of routine is not to be underestimated in a preschooler’s life) and all of us to the rental car place later that day. We found out the next day that the estimate for the repairs on the car is $12,000 - yes THOUSAND - making me feel incredibly lucky that we walked away unharmed. (But feeling a bit sad for my little Mazda 5 that so gallantly protected us. I love that car.)

It turns out that one way to help a three year old stop thinking about the death of her dog is to get into a car accident with her in the car. Instead of hearing “Moose died” over and over, I now hear “Mama, drive slowly ok? We don’t want to get into another accident.” Instead of asking “where is Moose?” she now asks “why did that lady break our car?”

We are all dealing with the stress of last week in our own way. Emma has shown some classic regression in response to it all - talking in baby talk, asking us to carry her because she is a baby and can’t walk, getting weepy and sad for what seems like no reason, being super clingy - all pretty textbook really. We have tried to give her extra patience and love to help her through it.

I have spent the last few days marveling at how quickly Moose was gone and how quickly the accident happened, leading me to realize how quickly life can change with no notice whatsoever. I have also spent the last few days driving below the speed limit and watching every car for any sign it is changing course. The accident scared me, and I don’t like being scared.

Eventually Emma will move back in the direction of full independence and I will become more zen about life and its fluidity (and will hopefully be able to drive without freaking out about it.) In the meantime, we are all trying to be extra gentle with each other and are trying not to spend too much time on Jack Russell Terrier rescue sites.

A couple of weeks ago a friend asked me if I would be interested in performing with her in a staged reading of a play to raise money for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. It has been years (and years and years) since I last performed on stage, but I said yes immediately, excited at the opportunity to help an important cause and get back on stage, not to mention the added bonus of getting out of the house.

So tomorrow night I will be brushing off my acting shoes to perform in a staged reading of “Pirates of the Chemotherapy” with five other local actresses, two of whom are breast cancer survivors themselves and are walking in the Avon walk. It is a play about a breast cancer support group and the issues the women in the group deal with as they struggle with their illness. It is a tough topic and rehearsals have been emotional for me. I turn 40 this year and will be having my first mammogram. Hitting middle age and having young children has made me much more aware of my own mortality and the play raises issues that frankly I would rather not think about.

Don’t get me wrong, despite the topic, the play is actually very funny at times. It would have to be, with a title like “Pirates of the Chemotherapy.”

So if those of you in the DC area are around tomorrow night I would love to see you - here are the details:

STAGED READING OF AWARD-WINNING DRAMATIC COMEDY
“PIRATES OF THE CHEMOTHERAPY” TO BENEFIT THE
WASHINGTON DC MAY 1-2 AVON WALK FOR BREAST CANCER

** SATURDAY, APRIL 24TH **

Doors open 7:30 PM
Staged reading 8:00 PM

Cedar Lane Unitarian Universalist Church (www.cedarlane.org)
9601 Cedar Lane, Bethesda, Maryland

Suitable for adults and teens

Admission is FREE, but donations to benefit the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer will be gratefully accepted