Just Powers

W00T!!

You are Maureen Dowd! You like to give people silly
nicknames and write in really short, non
sequitur paragraphs. You’re the most playful of
the columnists and a rock-ribbed liberal, but
are often accused of being too flamboyant and
frivolous. You tend to focus on style over
substance, personality over politics. But your
heart is in the right place. Plus, you are a
total fox.

Which New York Times Op-Ed Columnist Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

There is an article in the New York Times this morning about the recent spate of state legislation proposing an easing in gun laws. The theory seems to be that since we know the bad guys have guns, shouldn’t we make sure the good guys have them too?

Except this approach will only work if the bad guys don’t know which good guys have guns, so we have to make sure the good guys can carry concealed weapons. And since the B.G. are everywhere, we better make it legal for the G.G. to carry the aforementioned concealed weapons in bars, restaurants, courtrooms and schools - cause you never know when you might need to take out some B.G. Some states have bills pushing for lowering the age a G.G. can carry a gun.

One of the arguments behind all of this is that the states just “don’t have the money to provide security” in places like courthouses and schools. It strikes me as pretty convenient for Republicans that President Bush’s budget cuts federal aid to state budgets, forcing the states to be creative with their own budgets, which Republican lawmakers can then use as the excuse for why my mother should be allowed to carry a concealed weapon when she goes to the grocery store.

Isn’t there a good reason we moved away from the gun-toting, shoot ‘em up times of the wild west? And since none of the proposed legislation seems to require any training for anyone carrying a gun, doesn’t that mean we will have to worry about not only dodging the bullets from the B.G. but from the G.G. as well? I mean, if we are going to be honest here, regardless of what they want you to believe, guns really do kill people. People can have the best intentions, but shit happens, and in the end that gun has one purpose and one purpose only - to kill.

So, to recap, the current trend seems to be: let everyone carry guns, hide them so you don’t know who has them, make especially sure they can carry them in places where large groups of people congregate, and let the shootin’ begin.

Back in December of 2003 I spent 5 weeks working field for the Dean campaign in Iowa. I was in region two - affectionately called “The Deuce” - which covered the southeast area of the state, and I organized Henry and Washington Counties. One of the towns I was responsible for in Washington County was Riverside.

The remarkable thing about Riverside is the big model of the starship Enterprise in the center of town. Years ago, someone in town decided that Riverside would be the future birthplace of Captain James T. Kirk from Star Trek. They have been milking it ever since. Despite this bizarre claim to fame, the people of Riverside were really nice - of course, I still giggled everytime I drove past the big spaceship.

Well, the folks of Riverside may want to forget they ever heard of Captain Kirk. This week on Spike TV, William Shatner visits the site of his most famous character’s future birth in Invasion Iowa. Bill and film crew go to Riverside on the premise that they are there to film a sci-fi movie. Only they aren’t. It’s all a big practical joke on the unsuspecting and Shatner-crazy town.

The producers are the same ones responsible for Joe Shmoe - an equally hysterical show. Invasion runs for two more nights and I am having a lot of fun pointing out all the places in town where I met with Dean supporters. So far I haven’t seen anyone I know, which is probably just as well, since I already feel a little conflicted watching these folks get punk’d.

And I still giggle everytime I see the spaceship.

It is March Madness at my house.

Maybe it’s because I want to an arts school for college, or maybe it’s because I have always just focused on the Redskins, but I have a little trouble understanding the whole thing. I think this frustrates Mike greatly, although he valiantly tries to explain it, repeatedly, and I try my best to understand.

When I am not focusing on understanding, I find myself really enjoying the games. Like just now, the University of Vermont beat Syracuse University in a HUGE upset.

Ok, I don’t really know how much of an upset it really was — something about high seed and low seed and brackets — but it was a really awesome, dramatic, impossible-shot-from-center-court in overtime close to a game.

So, I don’t really know who UV plays next, or if they will win (cause of their low seed you know, or is it high seed?) but no doubt I will watching them and cheering along, whatever happens.

Just when I was thinking that nothing could ruin this beautiful Lyle Lovett day in Texas, I get an email from your favorite company and mine - verizon.

Actually, to be fair, it was from my bank, telling me I have a new bill from verizon (for twice what it should be). Like any good child of the new millenium I go the website and sign into my online verizon account to look at the bill.

What do I find? “JPOWERS1970, your online account has been disabled. If you need assistance, please contact us.”

This has gone beyond verizon sucking, I am now beginning to believe they are crazy. I know - a corporation, an entity, a big-ass company, cannot be crazy. And still, I really really think that, in this case, they are. I am almost beginning to feel sorry for them actually.

Here I am in Austin, Texas for 48 hours on business. What a great city - lilac bushes in bloom, everyone is laid back and really nice. And then, this morning, I am at Las Manitas for breakfast with Garrett, Mike and Tim, and who should walk in and sit down but Lyle Lovett.

Lyle Lovett.

Walked in. To this tiny little diner place. With the best migas con quesos anywhere.

LYLE LOVETT.

There were probably only 10 other people in the whole place. I couldn’t be so uncool as to walk over and talk to him and ask for his autograph or anything, I mean the man should be able to eat his migas in peace (I am pretty sure he ordered migas, but his back was to me, so I can’t be 100% sure) So I just sat there, stunned.

Mike pointed out that Paul Reiser was with Lyle - but who cares really? “Mad About You” is so 90’s.

Lyle Lovett.

I swear that I am done forever with Verizon posts after this - but I have just one last thing to say on the matter.

Today, March 7, I finally got DSL. 47 days after placing my “Move” order with Verizon, 28 days after my phone turned on, 21 days after my original Verizon “DSL Service Ready” date, 10 days after I freaked out, cancelled Verizon and ordered Earthlink - I finally have DSL.

Ok, I admit it, I cried. Yes I did. When I came home and saw those glorious, solid green lights smiling at me from the back of my home, I cried big huge tears of utter and complete joy. I had called Earthlink today to check on my status, since the “online order status” report was telling me it wasn’t working yet. The woman said she was sure it would be on by midnight tonight, which I didn’t believe, and said I could call back tomorrow if it wasn’t.

But here is the reason for this post. The woman I spoke with today also said that the “provisional team” was working with Verizon on some technical problem. When I heard this I figured there was no chance I would ever get DSL, that I was doomed to dial-up and the whim of nearby wireless networks. She said the Verizon team came out last week to deal with the issue.

So, here is the thing: one of the many times I spoke with Verizon, I was told there were “load coils” on my line, which is what was causing the problem, and that they would have to be removed in order to get the DSL working. The technician who told me this said that there was “no way” this could all get done before March 15.

So here we are at March 7, problem solved, my DSL on. Does this mean that Verizon has better customer service for its competition than it does for its own customers? Somehow my hysterical calls to Verizon in the last few weeks didn’t move one single person to get a technician to my house to fix the problem, but Earthlink makes one call and the THE NEXT DAY a Verizon team is at my house doing what needs to be done for Earthlink to provide me with the service I have been begging for from Verizon.

Not that I am complaining mind you - I finally have my DSL. Verizon’s pathetic customer service just doesn’t make any sense to me at all. But then, Verizon hasn’t made any sense to me for at least 47 days.

Just to recap:

January 19 - placed a “move my DSL order”
January 31 - I moved
February 7 - Phone line turned on - seven days late
February 15 - Service ready date for DSL - no DSL
February 15-26 - Hours spent with Verizon, trying to get a new service ready date
Fabruary 26 - Seconds before my head exploded, I finally gave up and called Earthlink, ordered DSL
March 1 - Called Verizon, cancelled DSL
March 2 - Received a “Your DSL has been cancelled” confirmation email from Verizon

Today - received an email from Verizon with the subject line: “Your DSL Move Request Update”

No kidding. 43 days after placing my “DSL Move Request” and AFTER cancelling, they sent me directions on how to “get moving online again”.

In the email was a link to help me “Get instructions, tips and info for moving your Verizon Online DSL connection to your new home.” Hmm, instructions and tips like “Don’t waste your time!”, “Call Earthlink right NOW” and “Verizon SUCKS” perhaps? Alas, no. The link took me to a page with a man who could not possibly have been a Verizon customer, as evidenced by the huge smile on his face. (Either that or he just hasn’t moved yet, so he really has no idea how my much Verizon sucks.) The page said:

Moving is stressful enough. The last thing you should have to worry about is reconnecting your high-speed DSL service at your new place. Just follow the 3 steps below. It includes all the info you need to get you moving online again.

I can laugh about this now is because I am no longer dependent on Verizon for my internet needs - and because my DSL will be on today according to Earthlink. But god help Verizon if this email had gotten to me before I cancelled my service. All you would hear about tomorrow would be the tragic story of the crazed maniacal woman who went postal on her poor unsuspecting DC area Verizon office.

Verizon sucks.

Just in case I left any doubt in my last post, I thought maybe you could use a concrete example of how much Verizon sucks. (Plus writing the words Verizon sucks over and over fills me with a warm fuzzy feeling.)

I ordered Earthlink DSL last Saturday and our delivery date is Thursday. Somehow, Earthlink was able to do in five days what Verizon was not able to do in 45. Yet another piece of evidence in the case against Verizon (did I mention they suck?)

Them: Hi this is Mr. xxxx from Verizon Encore, how may I help you?

Me: I would like to cancel my DSL service.

Them: Ok, did you put an order to cancel already?

Me: um, no

Them: Hmm, I see that there is an order on your account for tomorrow.

Me: Hmm, an order? For what? Cancellation?

Them: Hmm, I don’t know (He doesn’t know?? How can there be an “order” without saying what it is for? But I digress…) I am going to have to get DSL on the line. Hold on please.

Me: …

Them: (Computerized voice) Please enter or say the phone number on the account you are calling about.

Me: Hello?? (Apparently I got ditched by Mr. xxx - I punch in my phone number)

Them: Hi this is Ms. xxxx, how may I help you today?

Me: (deep breath) I would like to cancel my DSL.

Them: Ok, I am going to have to connect you to the cancellation team.

Me: What? (Really agitated now) But I just talked to another guy who said that I had to talk to you to cancel.

Them: I apologize for the inconvenience ma’am, but DSL cancellation are the only ones who can cancel your account.

Me: Hmph. Fine - but just so you know, THIS is why I am cancelling my DSL. Go ahead and transfer me.

Them: Hi this is Theresa, how can I help you?

Me: I want to cancel my DSL

Them: Hmm, can I ask why you are cancelling?

Me: Because in one month no one has been able to tell me when my DSL is going to be working, so I am going with another company.

Them: Hmm, well according to this, your service started on February 15.

Me: (Through clenched teeth) Yes that was when it was supposed to be ready. But it still isn’t on and I am going with another company. So please cancel the account.

Them: Well, what I would like to do is investigate what is going on with your account. If no one has looked into it, it could be that your DSL is sitting there waiting for you.

Me: NO. I assure you, my DSL is not sitting there waiting for me. And PLENTY of people have looked into it - I promise you. You are more than welcome to investigate whatever you would like, but in the meantime, please cancel my account.

Don’t these people keep notes in our files? Shouldn’t Theresa have been able to see very clearly that I have spoken with everyone who works at Verizon besides her? And shouldn’t she, at that point, have been trying to stifle her laughter over the names her angry but incompetent co-workers left about me in the notes?

At any rate, I was finally able to convince Theresa that my DSL situation is way beyond any ability she may have to get to the bottom of it, and even if she did, I no longer wish to do business with Verizon.

I would like to breathe a sigh of relief and say thank god this whole episode is over, but I’m pretty sure it’s not. I don’t know what it will be, but something will happen - extra charges will be put on my account, my phone will be mysteriously turned off, I will find a boiled rabbit on my stove…something.

Verizon sucks.

Just in case you missed it, let me repeat, Verizon sucks. I will spare you most of the ridiculous details, but let me just say that I called on January 19 to transfer my phone and DSL service to our new address and as of today, February 25, I still have no DSL service.

My original ready date for DSL was February 15 and since then I have spent countless hours, and I do mean HOURS, on the phone with everyone from Customer Service to Retention(?) to the Customer Advocacy Team (who has yet to advocate for me - at all.)

Last week I left work early to come home and troubleshoot, because a technician promised me that everything should be working, only to have them tell me once I got here that it is not working yet and sorry - there is nothing we can do.

This past Monday I got an email letting me know that my new service ready date is February 15. Huh??

Today was the kicker. I spoke with someone in customer service who has been trying to deal with the issue for me over the past week. She called me on her break to let me know she is still looking into it, and has some notes on it but couldn’t talk to me anymore because she needed to get back online answering customer service calls. When I pointed out that I, in fact, AM a customer service call, and maybe she could just finish with me before getting back to “work” she got very frustrated with me and sounded really nervous that she was going to get in big trouble for being on the phone with me…HUH??

In the space of one hour today I have been told that I have a new service ready date of March 3, March 8 and March 15 and that it is a “load coil” order on my line that is now holding things up.

It completely blows my mind that a multi-million dollar corporation like Verizon can be so bad at their job - and that they still corner the market on phone and internet service.

I am sitting here waiting for a call back from yet another person at Verizon - who really understands my frustration - and my bottom line is that if they can’t get my DSL on today or Monday at the latest, I am calling Earthlink.

Verizon sucks.