Just Powers

So, we are back from San Francisco and adjusting slowly to the time change, but I wanted to be sure to do a follow up post with all the stuff we did in the second half of our week. Mostly because I will forget the trip ever happened by next month and I will need to go back and read my posts so I can tell Emma all about it when she gets older.

Wednesday: Al Gore was the guest speaker at the AFSCME convention on Wednesday morning and I just knew that Emma would be completely captivated by the man-who- would-have-been-President, so we went. Hm. Yeah. She didn’t even make it to Gerry McEntee’s introduction of Mr. Gore before we needed to leave so others could enjoy themselves. We stood outside the auditorium and listed for a few minutes, then gave up and headed to our old standby, Yerba Buena Gardens.

We rode the carousel and walked around the gardens and the waterfall at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial and then I decided to walk some of the streets to the east of the gardens. Within about five minutes Emma was asleep in the stroller so we headed back to the hotel and she took a marathon three hour nap.

When she woke up I decided to take some advice from Cry It Out Mike’s post about what to do in San Francisco. We walked up to Market Street and over to the Tenderloin in search of the playground Mike mentioned in his post. It was a long walk, but it was nice to be walking and to see a part of the city we hadn’t seen. The playground didn’t disappoint and Emma even found a friend in a two year old boy who she raced down the slides with for a good 15 minutes. While we were there I dropped my phone and the screen shattered, making it impossible to get texts or call out because I couldn’t see the address book. This was a situation that would clearly have to be dealt with, probably before leaving San Francisco. If only there was someplace in San Francisco where I could get another phone that would do all the things my current phone could do… Oooh Ooohh Apple store - iPhone!!! Mike still swears I dropped it on purpose.

For dinner that night we decided to do room service. It was a little decadent but kind of fun for the three of us to hang out together in the room.

Thursday: Mama needed a brand new phone so at 7:30 am Emma and I got in line with the other geeks at the San Francisco Apple store and waited. By 9:00 I was walking out of the store with my little piece of sunshine new phone. Emma was remarkably good during the wait and really only started to cranky about the whole thing as we were finishing up.

With phone/GPS/camera etc in hand Emma and I headed for the 30 bus. We were going to the Exploratorium which was across town but according to Doodaddy and Emma’s Grammy, was worth the trip. We got on the gloriously uncrowded bus and started our trip, but something didn’t feel quite right so I asked a fellow passenger if we were headed the right way and she told me we wanted the bus behind the one we were on. Now, here’s the thing: when you are traveling in a city you don’t know, with a toddler, and a backpack, and a stroller, you definitely don’t want to be on the wrong bus.

Crud. I hauled us off the bus and waited for the next one. At which point Emma decided that she was tired of being pushed around by me. She spent the rest of the ride pointing at all the things outside the bus that she wanted to do. That big playground up on Columbus (just as we got to North Beach I think?) made her so angry that her head started to spin around. Luckily this bus was almost as empty as the first 30 bus we were on so we only really annoyed a handful of people.

We spent the morning at the Exploratorium and I think it more than made up for the torture of the bus ride. We ate lunch there and then I decided to walk around a little before heading back to our own neighborhood. The Marina District, where the museum is, is absolutely gorgeous and I suspected if I just walked around that corner there, I might just be able to see the Golden Gate Bridge. BINGO. We found Crissy Field and a lovely beach that overlooked the Bridge. The weather was clear and beautiful so we were actually able to see the bridge and Emma loved running on the beach and looking at the water.

We headed back to the hotel on the 30 bus and Emma fell asleep on my lap somewhere in Chinatown. For dinner that night we joined Mike and our friend and Mike’s co-worker Crystal at Sanraku - a sushi place in the Metreon. Emma ate a bowl of edamame and at least a pound of tofu and noodles.

Friday: Emma and I headed out for breakfast (at Mel’s Diner again - I know! I’m a glutton for punishment. But the pancakes are really good) when Mike left for work, then came back to the hotel and went to the swimming pool. By the time we got back to the room and took a shower, Emma was completely exhausted, I think the trip was starting to catch up with her, so she went down for a nap at about 10.

Mike’s convention was over and he was finished with work by noon on Friday, so he joined us back in the room and once Emma woke up the three of us went to lunch at the Organic Coffee Company at 4th and Mission (great sandwiches). For Mike’s one day of site seeing in the city we couldn’t decide between going back to Fisherman’s Wharf or heading to the Haight and maybe even the Mission. Since Emma had woken up almost every day of the trip barking like a sea lion, it seemed like maybe she was voting for the Wharf, and although our top pick would have been the Haight, we were completely powerless when she started barking like a sea lion, so the Wharf it was.

We rode the cable car to the water and took a decidedly touristy boat ride of the San Francisco bay. It was an hour long and drove right under the Golden Gate Bridge and then around Alcatraz. It was actually really fun - the weather was the most perfect it had been since we arrived and we got a great view of the bridge, San Francisco, and Sausalito. After the boat ride we walked to Pier 39 and saw the sea lions again. Even while she was barking like one, Emma was too terrified of them to let me put her down. We had just enough time for a ride on the merry-go-round and dinner at one of the cheesy seafood places on the pier before heading back home on the cable car. This time we got a seat on the outside and right up front which was really fun.

Saturday: Time to pack up and head home. Luckily we had a little bit of time to kill in the morning so we dumped our bags at the hotel front desk and headed for the Ferry Building. The farmer’s market that is there every Saturday morning was so much fun to see and the food all looked out of this world. I even saw a booth for Rancho Gordo beans - who I order from all the time and love love love. We headed back towards the hotel just in time for Emma to ride the carousel at Yerba Buena Gardens one last time.

The flight home was unremarkable and pretty pleasant actually. I managed to score a seat for Emma which was key, and has convinced me that toddlers should never ride on the laps of their parents, except maybe for short flights (like the one we are taking to Burlington VT at the end of the month).

What a great trip. I will be honest and admit that I was a little overwhelmed at the beginning and was having trouble enjoying myself, but I got the hang of it eventually and had so much fun. I think it was a lot for Emma for take in and she seems like she might still be catching up on her sleep, but she seemed to have a really good time too.

Janet Sessions Beach
February 2, 1922 - June 6, 2008

With Emma (and puppy Mowgli - tucked in there on her lap) when we visited six weeks ago. She will be missed.

Little Emma misses her daddy. He has been gone for three days at the SXSWi Conference in Austin and Emma is feeling his absence acutely. She is weepy and clingy and needed me to hold her for a half an hour today just to take a nap. He will be back on Wednesday, so only three days more, but it is breaking my heart to see her so obviously upset. It has reminded me how fragile her little world is, and what an important part her daddy plays in it.

Honestly I am missing him too. I have been alone with Emma before, but this time feels different. I am having trouble enjoying the time alone, which I am usually pretty good at, and Emma’s extra neediness is wearing on me. Being the parent-in-charge is making me feel anxious and overwhelmed with the responsibility of taking care of this little person around the clock - something I never think about when Mike is here. It is also making me worry more - what if something happens to Mike, or me, or Emma? I am just generally unsettled - I miss my co-parenting partner and my friend. Cause you know, I kind of like him. Well that and I am insanely jealous that he is hanging out in Austin for a week without me.

It will be great to have him home again.

For today’s Some/Thing theme, Something Borrowed — in honor of Freedom to Marry Week – I give you a picture of Emma and a chair that my grandmother, Emma’s great-grandmother, first got when she was a small girl. My Uncle Tim and Gram colluded to give this to Emma for Christmas this year and while she is a little young to fully appreciate it, I am moved by it every time I look at it. We don’t let her sit it on, since we would like it to last beyond Emma’s childhood, but it sits in her room providing respite for various and sundry stuffed animals. I love seeing the chair in her room, it makes me feel connected to the generations that went before me and the ones that will come after.

I know I have been a complete slacker about getting pictures from the last month - huge apologies to out-of-town family and friends who have been waiting (especially Aunt Emily and Aunt Lexi, who both called me on my slackeryness - sorry guys!!). Here are all the pix from the last month or so. Each picture you see links to a set on flickr.

Emma’s first birthday. “The Artsy Caterpillar” picture was a complete mistake, but I like the way it turned out.

Emma’s first Christmas in New Jersey with Poppy, Nonnie, Aunt Lexi and Great Gram. During most of these pictures she was pretty sick, only we didn’t know it yet. Of course now that we look back at them, we can see it. She was up every 45 minutes that night - teething we think. Or maybe she was just mad she had to sleep and couldn’t play with the Cheetah?

Christmas Eve. Actually this picture isn’t from Christmas Eve, it was our Holiday card picture. But I love it, so I included it here. In most of the pictures in this set and in the next set from Christmas Day, Emma was, again, sick. Christmas Eve she was up until 4, throwing up every 15 minutes. Christmas Night she only threw up once before passing out. She still hung in with us throughout the day without complaining. What a trooper.

Santa came! Even though she was sick, she really got into opening gifts. She actually played with each of her presents and seemed to genuinely enjoy each one. The little gray dress with the pink shirt is one of the cutest things I have seen her in.

Emma’s birthday party was last weekend. It was wonderful. Lots and lots of people, lots of food (ok WAY too much food) and at the center of it, a little girl who managed to charm everyone and stay charming until after the guests left.

While we were missing a lot of our out of town family and friends, some were able to make it (big shout out to Poppy, Lexi and Emily!) and a lot of our local family and friends were there. There aren’t many times in life when you are surrounded by a big group of people who love you. A wedding is one time, but at a wedding you are just a couple. The thing that was so amazing and surprising about this party was feeling the love of all those people, and watching them all love Emma as well.

As her mom, I am deeply moved when other people love Emma. It reminds me that I am not alone in parenting her, in guiding her and in helping her grow. It reminds me that Mike’s and my love is just the beginning of the love she can expect to feel throughout her life. Seeing other people love Emma makes me feel that my little family is connected - connected to our community of family and friends and to the larger world community.

Initially, this birthday party was to celebrate the last year and our ability to get through it. Now I realize it was more of a celebration of the future and of my family’s place in the world.

Emma’s First Birthday from Justpowers on Vimeo.

Emma is one today.

I remember every minute of this day one year ago. I especially remember being utterly amazed at how beautiful she was, the second she was born. I had prepared pretty well for the labor and delivery and even for bringing her home and making sure she was taken care of in a material sense. There was no way for me to prepare for the emotional impact she would have on me, or for how immediate that impact would be. She was beautiful and so real and even though she was just over five pounds, she already held a place in my heart and my life that was bigger than most of the grownups living there.

She still surprises me with her beauty. She dances to music, talks to the cats, and delights in every new experience. She is already smarter than me, but forgives me for it, and loves James Taylor, which, let’s face it, is all you have to do to win me over.

Today was a mixed bag of emotions for me. I cried a few times, thinking about the power of her birth, how fast the year has gone and how fast the rest of them will go. Mostly I was happy though, playing with her in the first snow of the season - which arrived as her birthday present from Mother Nature - watching her flirt with all the nice people at the grocery store who couldn’t help but talk to her, and helping her learn how to play with her cool new birthday presents.

This post is a little disjointed I guess, but it feels like there are no words really to express what I feel about my daughter. Most of you feel it already anyway - either for Emma or for your own child/ren - so I know I don’t really need to explain too much. I feel like the Grinch at the end of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” when his heart grew three sizes. Before I had Emma, I thought my heart was pretty much finished growing. Now that she is here, it grows a little more each day.

Sorry for my long silence recently. Even though I blog everyday (in my head) I don’t always get around to posting all the witty and brilliant thoughts I have about life. So here’s the Cliff’s Notes version of the past two weeks:

• Mike and I went to the Major League Soccer Championship game - Houston Dynamo vs. New England Revolution. It was lots of fun, even though Revolution lost. The highlight of the game was when the crowd (mostly DC United fans) started chanting “YOU GUYS ARE BOORING” and then moved on to chant “DC UNITED”. That was when the game started picking up…
• Thanksgiving happened. We had a great time on the Eastern Shore hanging with my dad, stepmom, sister and stepbrother. Except when hunting season started on Saturday. Then we got the hell out of dodge. I wanted to write a big long post about all that I am grateful for (and there’s a lot) but then the tryptophan kicked in…sorry about that.
• Emma learned how to clap yesterday. Just like that. My mom was clapping and singing a song to her and she just started clapping along. And she hasn’t stopped since. Clapping seems to be her new expression of happiness - every time I turn around she is grinning from ear to ear and clapping. When we are in the car and I look at her in the rearview mirror, she’s clapping. Taking a bath, she starts clapping. Changing her diaper, she starts clapping. It’s a riot. But now I feel like we need to stock up on some quality children’s music so she has something to clap TO.
• And finally, Emma is officially a toddler. She walks everywhere, and fast. It was an overnight thing really. One day we were propping her up and convincing her to take a few steps, the next day she was walking around the house like she had been doing it all her life. She is unstoppable and into EVERYTHING.

Which brings me to the main point of this post: someone please help me. My sweet toddler is wreaking havoc everywhere she goes. The tupperware from the kitchen ends up in the living room, her books from the bedroom end up in the dining room, her toys from the den end up in our room (and I am pretty sure I have already mentioned the dog food that ends up in her mouth). She requires constant supervision and almost never sits still.

When she was six months old and I needed to make dinner, she could sit pretty happily in her jumpy seat while I cooked. When she was nine months old the activity center was the thing. Now? I am lost. Now, I am looking for that magic toy that will occupy her for more than five minutes. She doesn’t watch television so that won’t work as a solution (although I am beginning to see why so many little kids do) but I am pretty open to almost anything else…

Anyone?

Alternatively, any good recipes for dinner that only take 5-10 minutes to prepare?

Emma’s great-grandmother, Mike’s grandmother, passed away last Wednesday. It has taken me this long to mention it here partly because I have been sick, but mostly because it is hard to know how to do her justice in just one post.

The first time I met Mary I thought to myself - “Please let me be just like her when I am in my 90’s. Oh hell, just let me make it to my 90’s.” Mary didn’t miss a trick. She heard and understood every conversation that occurred anywhere in her vicinity and usually had something to say about it. She loved crossword puzzles, and even at 95 years old, did one every day. She also loved bowling - candlepin was her specialty up until just a few years ago - and she proudly displayed her trophies and the scorecard from her perfect 300 game.

She was married to Stanley - who I never got to meet, but have been told was a lot like Mike in many ways, which made me feel like Mary and I shared something unique. She and Stanley moved into their house before Mike’s mom was born, and Mary didn’t leave until just over a year ago, more than 60 years later.

I could go on and on about Mary and how great I thought she was. She was funny and pretty and honest and she raised a wonderful daughter who in turn raised two wonderful sons. We all loved her and are going to miss her, but I am so grateful that I got a chance to meet her and know her even if only for a fraction of her long life.