Mon 28 Sep 2009
Ok, so just between you and me, I am losing my mind. Dealing with a two and a half year old day in and day out is taking its toll on me. From the first whine in the morning to the final negotiation at night I am constantly on edge, waiting for the next meltdown, trying to figure out the best way through the morass of emotions that is my child these days.
So far my strategy has been brute force. I set limits, I give time outs, I count to three and I yell. I yell way too much. And at the end of the day my head hurts and I am cranky and exhausted. And then it starts all over again.
Something has to give. I can’t keep going like this, and surely it isn’t doing her any good.
So as of today I am trying a different strategy. No more yelling. I’m going to kill her with kindness. I’m going zen on her butt.
I will be like Buddha himself, calm, wise and thoughtful. When she resists, whines and challenges me, I will be like water instead of a brick wall and will bend her to my will gently. I will still use timeouts and limits, but I will do it without yelling.
I figure at the very least my head won’t be pounding as hard at the end of the day and maybe, just maybe, she will be so caught off guard by my new affect that she will forget to whine about what I am saying. I’m not counting on it though. I just need my blood pressure to go down a couple points, and in the end life is just too short to be so cranky all the time.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
September 29th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
I hear that positive reinforcement is the tried and true method with all kinds of behavior. As hard as it is to ignore the bad behavior, the kind that just screams out for negative attention, it seems that there are boatloads of studies about how praising the good and ignoring the bad works much faster and more effectively. Catch her doing things you like and be loud about how much you like them. She’s a good little kid, and smart, too, and I have faith that you can figure out how to bring out the best in her. xoxo
September 29th, 2009 at 4:59 pm
dude - I am seriously right there with you. Today it took 25 minutes of dragging jack’s butt back to time out spot just to get him to pick up the books he emptied off the shelf for no reason. And believe me, he knows physically I am at a disadvantage right now, he is faster and way more determined than I can be right now…. I have found that when things get really tough, the best solution is to turn on the music and dance - it seems to always turn things around for us… just a thought…. I recommend Rock Lobster by B52’s…
thinking of you and feeling a little bit better that it’s not just me! Although a little scared that the 2nd one isn’t even out yet!! urgh