At some point this week I thought to myself that I might talk to my OB about scheduling a c-section for me and that maybe she could just knock me out for it so I slept through the whole thing. This thought from someone who had no interventions or medications with the delivery of my first child (unless you count a nasty nurse as an intervention).

But the thing is, with my first pregnancy, I just sailed through. At the time I felt really sorry for myself for being really sick until about 18 weeks, and then at 32 weeks I started having some hip pain, and I was tired of course, I thought it was a tough pregnancy. Now, I know better. From the nausea that lasted until 20 weeks, the hip pain that started at 21 weeks, the pre-term contractions at 26 weeks and managing the “modified” bed rest from then on, to stressors that have occurred in the last few weeks that include bad news regarding my dog and my job, not to mention the stomach flu all three of us had this week, I now realize how easy I had it with my first.

Ok, I don’t really want to miss the birth of my second child, but honestly I am at this place right now where labor could actually happen at any moment, and the thought of that terrifies me. I spent months preparing physically and mentally for Emma’s birth, and I was successful at having an intervention free birth. This time, I have just barely read the chapter in my Bradley book that reviews the stages of labor, have done almost no physical prep for labor and barely even have my bag for the hospital packed. I am completely unprepared and find myself more terrified of the impending birth than excited, as I was last time. Since I am pretty sure that it was largely my preparation, mindset and mental state that allowed me to get through the pain last time, I am pretty sure that my lack of preparation and stable mental state this time will be my downfall. That, and I am just DONE. Done being pregnant, done with bed rest, done with the stress of late.

So really I think just going full throttle with the interventions and letting me sleep through a scheduled c-section is probably the best thing. Don’t you?