Today I locked my keys in the car. With Emma. Emma and the keys. Together. In the car.

I read about this scenario a few months ago on Baby Toolkit, and after reading the whole post including the tips on what to do if it happens to you, I thought to myself “Whew, good thing that will NEVER happen to me.” Because I just could not imagine it ever happening to me. Not because I am oh-so-smart mind you. Just because I am anal and neurotic and mostly because I don’t have a keyfob, so I have to use the key to lock my car door, so I couldn’t imagine the unfortunate series of events that would leave me hyperventilating in the parking lot of a rundown strip mall.

In the first seconds after I shut the door and heard the “bloop” of my car alarm, I thought my heart was going to explode out of my chest, I was going to throw up and faint all at the same time. It truly was one of the worst moments of my life. You know those times that are so intense with emotion that the whole world turns a different color? Hmm, maybe that only happens to me. In any case, today the world turned red and I got that weird tunnel vision thing.

Through the haze of my panic and guilt and “ohmygodiamtheworstmotherinthewholeworld” I thought of the Baby Toolkit blog post. As the panic built, I remembered suddenly that the number one tip in the post was to be calm. That Emma needed me to be calm. So I was. On the outside. Inside I was still all poundy and pukey and fainty. Luckily Emma was asleep, so I didn’t have to pretend too much. I ran into the store that was my original destination - a children’s consignment store, kid and mom friendly - and said, in my most calm voice “Could you please call the police, I just locked my baby and my keys in the car.” And then I think I cried? Honestly I think I was crying from beginning to end, but maybe I was just teary and not out-and-out crying. Then I went back out to check on Emma. Who slept.

Anyway, long story short (too late), Fire and Rescue was summoned (luckily the fire station is, literally, two blocks from the store) and four hours later arrived. Ok, it wasn’t four hours. It just felt that way. I paced in the parking lot the whole time desperately trying to remember the other tips for what to do if you lock your child in the car. Emma slept and I couldn’t remember anything except that I was supposed to stay calm, so I tried doing that, but secretly I was planning how I was going to break the window if Fire and Rescue didn’t get there soon. Finally they did. They v e r y s l o w l y climbed down from their truck and approached the car. Since I was being calm, I chose not to shriek “HURRY UP FOR GODS SWEET SAKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU THAT IS MY BABY IN THE CAR?” at them.

They were very nice and had a bunch of snazzy tools so they quite easily got my door open, setting off the alarm. Emma slept. The whole episode probably lasted 15 minutes at the most. It was the longest fifteen minutes of my life.

One thing that struck me was how nice everyone was. The shoppers and staff in the store, the Fire and Rescue squad people, even the owner of a nearby store who brought me a cup of water once it was all over. People are very nice to a mother in crisis. Luckily in the grand scheme of things it was really a pretty minor crisis. It wasn’t very hot today, and as I said, Emma slept. I was certainly more traumatized than she was.

Tomorrow I will be hiding a spare key on the outside of the car.