Today was my first official day back at work. When I was preparing to have Emma I had every intention of returning to work full time. After I had her Mike and I realized how difficult it would be to leave her at 3 or 4 months to return to work (not to mention how expensive). I did a little brainstorming and realized (or hoped) that a lot of my job could be done from home. I went to my boss with the proposal that I come to the office one day a week and work from home the rest of the time so I could be with Emma. My boss, and Adoptions Together, were completely open to my proposal and have been amazingly flexible, even letting me bring Emma with me until she gets a little older.

The whole thing has made me feel like I am in control of my life in a way I have never felt before. I have decided what I need out of my life for me and my family, and I have made it happen. To be fair, it wouldn’t have happened without Mike being willing and able to work full-time or without Adoptions Together being flexible and open to trying something new. But it is nice to feel like we as a family are writing our own rules and living our life the way we want to.

Emma was a champ today at work. Slept all morning during meetings and mostly entertained herself in the afternoon. Still, I think I will begin taking advantage of the childcare I have lined up for Mondays - thanks mom! - starting next week. Both of us get the short end of the stick when she comes with me - I don’t do my job particularly well, and she doesn’t get the mom time she deserves - all of which stresses me out.

Someone asked me today what was the longest period of time I have been away from her, and I realized that really I haven’t been separated from her longer than an hour or two since she was born. It will probably feel like losing a limb when I leave her next week, and no doubt I will cry the whole way to work. She will adapt to the new situation like a pro I am sure.