Just in case I left any doubt in my last post, I thought maybe you could use a concrete example of how much Verizon sucks. (Plus writing the words Verizon sucks over and over fills me with a warm fuzzy feeling.)

I ordered Earthlink DSL last Saturday and our delivery date is Thursday. Somehow, Earthlink was able to do in five days what Verizon was not able to do in 45. Yet another piece of evidence in the case against Verizon (did I mention they suck?)

Them: Hi this is Mr. xxxx from Verizon Encore, how may I help you?

Me: I would like to cancel my DSL service.

Them: Ok, did you put an order to cancel already?

Me: um, no

Them: Hmm, I see that there is an order on your account for tomorrow.

Me: Hmm, an order? For what? Cancellation?

Them: Hmm, I don’t know (He doesn’t know?? How can there be an “order” without saying what it is for? But I digress…) I am going to have to get DSL on the line. Hold on please.

Me: …

Them: (Computerized voice) Please enter or say the phone number on the account you are calling about.

Me: Hello?? (Apparently I got ditched by Mr. xxx - I punch in my phone number)

Them: Hi this is Ms. xxxx, how may I help you today?

Me: (deep breath) I would like to cancel my DSL.

Them: Ok, I am going to have to connect you to the cancellation team.

Me: What? (Really agitated now) But I just talked to another guy who said that I had to talk to you to cancel.

Them: I apologize for the inconvenience ma’am, but DSL cancellation are the only ones who can cancel your account.

Me: Hmph. Fine - but just so you know, THIS is why I am cancelling my DSL. Go ahead and transfer me.

Them: Hi this is Theresa, how can I help you?

Me: I want to cancel my DSL

Them: Hmm, can I ask why you are cancelling?

Me: Because in one month no one has been able to tell me when my DSL is going to be working, so I am going with another company.

Them: Hmm, well according to this, your service started on February 15.

Me: (Through clenched teeth) Yes that was when it was supposed to be ready. But it still isn’t on and I am going with another company. So please cancel the account.

Them: Well, what I would like to do is investigate what is going on with your account. If no one has looked into it, it could be that your DSL is sitting there waiting for you.

Me: NO. I assure you, my DSL is not sitting there waiting for me. And PLENTY of people have looked into it - I promise you. You are more than welcome to investigate whatever you would like, but in the meantime, please cancel my account.

Don’t these people keep notes in our files? Shouldn’t Theresa have been able to see very clearly that I have spoken with everyone who works at Verizon besides her? And shouldn’t she, at that point, have been trying to stifle her laughter over the names her angry but incompetent co-workers left about me in the notes?

At any rate, I was finally able to convince Theresa that my DSL situation is way beyond any ability she may have to get to the bottom of it, and even if she did, I no longer wish to do business with Verizon.

I would like to breathe a sigh of relief and say thank god this whole episode is over, but I’m pretty sure it’s not. I don’t know what it will be, but something will happen - extra charges will be put on my account, my phone will be mysteriously turned off, I will find a boiled rabbit on my stove…something.

Verizon sucks.